Safe From Harm

Once upon a time there was a boy. He trusted everyone without reservations, he was open, expansive, kind, always ready to make friends with everyone. There were good things and bad things, but mostly good things, except…
Except two very distinct incidents. Two occasions in which his trust was completely betrayed and it hurt. A lot.

The first time, he was maybe six, seven years old; he was “betrayed” by his own blood. He felt completely powerless, vulnerable, unprotected. No matter what he said nobody listened to him. It was all perfectly and rationally justified. Except it left a deep emotional scar in the boy.

Even so, time passed and the boy remained the same. Trusting, expansive, caring, kind, happy, mischievous like every other boy or girl at that age. Around the age of eleven, he was betrayed again; this time it was outside. He felt that he couldn’t say anything to anyone, nobody would listen or even believe him.

And so the boy closed himself up to the world. He never trusted anyone again, not like he used to. He raised an inpenetrable barrier around him, withdrew to his own private world and kept himself safe from harm. He still made friends, he trusts the very few true friends he has with his life, but they are really very few. Deep down inside, he is still the same boy, now a grown man. And yet, he does not give away his trust lightly to anyone like before. He became shy, a bit of an introvert, keeps quiet in a corner observing in the middle of large groups, at parties or any social event. He learned to see through people’s masks and specially learned and still learns to trust his intuition about people and events.

Few people are lucky enough to see his true self, unabashed, crazy, enthusiastic, happy, kind and caring. Maybe those two traumatic events in his life had more consequences than just the trench that he dug up around him. Maybe he became such a big protector of others, specially people close to him, because of those events. It’s a way of breaking the cycle, killing the pattern of “un-protection” that he had in his own life.

Whatever those two events were, and he knows exactly what they were, they represent turning points in his life, they broke him. He’s not broke beyond repair, but the recovery is a long, hard and very painful process. He is getting there, at his own pace, doing baby steps, onde after the other.

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